Why Men Cheat

Infidelity. It's the age old relationship problem. It's the ultimate fear - your seemingly devoted beloved is off spending dirty weekends with his slutty secretary. When a man does do the deed the most common response from a woman is why. Why her? Why now? Why wasn't I enough? An answer to this comes in the form of a recent article posted on Esquire website - Why Men Cheat.

Anonymous gives his frank and unapologetic account of the real reason behind those stolen, sordid moments: http://www.esquire.com/features/reasons-why-men-cheat-0410

This long-winded explanation can be surmised in one short sentence: I am a selfish prick. 'Unfiltered' and 'unadulterated' it may be, but trying to give this self-absorbed man's musings some kind of integrity through their 'honesty' is, quite frankly, ridiculous.

It's inevitable that many men will cheat. It is also inevitable that women will cheat, but everyone seems to forget about this. Apparently we are not capable of feeling that hedonistic rush of desire for anyone other that our long-term partner, who - according to this mans standards- is probably out doing his secretary anyway. In reality many women actually do cheat, but they know how to keep it quiet. But that's a seperate issue, back to the 'self-satisfying' male.

Some of the nicest men I know have cheated. Courteous, well brought-up boys who eat their greens and love their mum. Love their girlfriends too, for that matter. The common misconception is that cheating is a reflection of the relationship, when in actual fact it's often a totally separate issue. It is a need, as Anonymous points out. But, where as he refers to this need as some kind of deep-founded validation, I suspect it's much more simple then that. They need sex. And a little bit of an ego boost too.

So what's the answer? Do we just accept that if the opportunity is presented and the circumstances are encouraging there are many who will take it? Is polygamy the way forward, no boundaries, no restrictions, no worries? "This is the most absolute choice I can make. I am there on my own. Against every code, rule and set of morals I pretend to obey." Well then, if you put it like that of course we can see why men cheat. If that squalid twelve-and-a-half minutes can translate into a profound and self-defining moment of ultimate control, then no wonder they get a kick out of it.

Mr Anonymous likes to labour his rejection of the rigid values society and marriage so unreasonably impose of his freedom. So what if these were removed and he could do what he pleased? Would that tussle with a slightly tipsy and past it mother of two looking for a little excitement to spice up the mundane really be that exciting? That sexy? Would it make him feel like he'd "voted his presence," like the "blood is moving through his body again?" I doubt it. So he needs his current commitment to render the affair exciting, otherwise it's probably just crap sex. Paradox indeed.

In not so many words, my take on Why Men Cheat:
1. Bored
2. Horny
3. Drunk

There is no point trying to philosophise why men cheat on their partners, there are a million and one little insignificant reasons and none of them are likely to be particularly considered. Trying to search for some kind of subconscious motivation behind their impulsive actions is a fruitless battle. Men cheat because the opportunity presents itself, and fidelity is not a good enough reason to stop them.